“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger” Buddha
Life is always about choices, we choose by our own will. I am leading my life my way. I have to take my ownership.
WHAT IS ANGER?
Anger is a state of mind which leads to a person’s outrage which differs in intensity from a regular irritation to intense fury and rage. It is accompanied by physiological and biological changes; when you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of your energy hormones, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.
Anger is a common human feeling. Everybody feels irritated, disappointed, bothered, or even extremely furious from time to time. It has been communicated by yelling, shouting, or swearing, yet in outrageous cases, it can raise into physical animosity towards objects (eg. crushing things) or individuals (self or others). At times, anger might look substantially more inconspicuous, to a greater extent an agonizing, noiseless outrage, or withdrawal. Anger is an instinctual emotional response from a real or imagined threat.
Anger is a distorted thinking. Unfortunately, it can lead us on the wrong path
Anger—> Rage —> Violence
Anger by itself has zero benefits. It’s only toxic in nature.
It can be created by both external and internal factors. You could be angry at a specific person (such as a coworker or supervisor) or event (a traffic jam, a cancelled flight), or your anger could be caused by worrying or brooding about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or enraging events can also trigger angry feelings.
It can surely be handled and managed only if you decide so. We were all created as beautiful loving babies but on our life journeys, we faced all different situations, exposed to different emotions and learnt that anger is normal or acceptable. If we put a full stop to anger in its initial phase there won’t be much of medical handling to this disorder.
The cycle of anger moves from your inner world to mood to physiological changes and the finally an angry outburst. All of these aspects of anger can influence each other and anger can ripple effects. Physiological symptoms of anger can drive us to feel out of control and this can make our mood worse. Hot-headedness can only cause disaster.So this trap needs to be broken. Just be aware and calm down.
The automated technique to display anger is to answer forcefully. Anger is an unnatural, hostile reaction to dangers; it moves intense, frequently forceful, emotions and practices, which enable us to battle and to guard ourselves when we are assaulted. Though, we can’t physically lash out at each individual or question that disturbs or pesters us; laws, social standards, and sound judgment put confines on how far our anger can take us. Individuals utilize an assortment of both cognizant and oblivious procedures to manage their angry sentiments.
The three fundamental methodologies are communicating, smothering, and quieting. Communicating your angry emotions in a self-assured—not forceful—way is the most advantageous approach to express anger. To do this, you need to figure out how to clarify what your necessities are, and how to get them met, without harming others. Being emphatic doesn’t mean being pushy or requesting; it implies being conscious of yourself as well as other people.
Anger can be stifled, and after that changed over or diverted. This happens when you hold in your anger, quit considering it, and concentrate on something positive. The point is to express or divert your anger and change it into more useful conduct. The peril in this sort of reaction is that on the off chance that it isn’t permitted outward articulation, your anger can turn internal—on yourself. Anger turned internal may cause different sorts of physical and mental ailments.
Unexpressed anger can make different issues. It can prompt obsessive articulations of anger, for example, uninvolved forceful conduct (settling the score with individuals in a roundabout way, without revealing to them why, as opposed to standing up to them head-on) or an identity that appears to be interminably critical and antagonistic. Individuals who are continually putting others down, scrutinizing everything, and making critical remarks haven’t figured out how to valuably express their anger. As anyone might expect, they aren’t probably going to have numerous fruitful connections.
At long last, you can quiet down inside. This implies controlling your outward conduct, as well as controlling your inward reactions, finding a way to bring down your heart rate, quiet yourself down, and let the sentiments die down.
It’s just a month in the New Year 2018 and there are already so many angry bouts taking place in our world.
Take Indian scenario
- many are super angry for Padmavati now turned into Padamavat
- Triple Talaq for Indian Muslim women
- Infinite types of gender crimes against women and minors
- Anti Darwin comments being made by HRD junior minister Satypal Singh
- Donald Trump on Israel, N Korea, Pakistan, migrants, global warming
- #Me Too campaign
- Nukes are pointed
The experience of anger changes generally; how frequently anger happens, how seriously it is felt, and to what extent it keeps going is distinctive for every individual. Individuals likewise differ in how effortlessly they get irate (their outrage limit), and in addition how agreeable they are with feeling furious. A few people are continually getting irate while others at times feel furious. A few people are exceptionally mindful of their anger, while others neglect to perceive anger when it happens. A few specialists recommend that the normal grown-up gets irate about once per day and irritated or annoyed around three times each day. Other anger specialists propose that getting furious fifteen times each day is more probably a practical normal. Notwithstanding how regularly we really encounter anger, it is a typical and unavoidable feeling.
Anger is a dangerous shape as it were. At its underlying foundations, anger is a flag to you that something in your condition isn’t right. It catches your consideration and inspires you to make a move to revise that wrong thing. How you wind up taking care of the anger flag has vital outcomes for your general wellbeing and welfare, nonetheless. When you express anger, your activities trigger others to wind up plainly guarded and furious as well. Blood weights raise and stress hormones stream. Brutality can follow. You may build up notoriety for being a risky ‘unstable presence’ that nobody needs to be near.
Wild outrage distances companions, associates and relatives. It likewise has a reasonable association with medical issues and early mortality. Antagonistic, forceful anger not just builds your hazard for an early passing, yet in addition your hazard for social disengagement, which itself is a noteworthy hazard factor for genuine disease and demise. These are yet two of numerous reasons why figuring out how to appropriately oversee anger is a smart thought.
HEALTH ISSUES WITH ANGER
The constant flood of stress chemicals and associated metabolic changes that go with recurrent unmanaged anger can eventually cause harm to many different systems of the body. Below is a list of few health-related issues s that have been associated with anger
- digestion problems, such as abdominal pain
- increased anxiety
- high blood pressure
- skin problems, such as eczema
- heart attack
THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD TO WORK WITH ANGER
I am moving from heath to sickness in a condition of being angry. Anger turns out to be profound enslavement as it shoots up at whatever point you free your energy by outrage when yelling or shouting. Power is about me, my psyche and dialect I will be stable and harmonious. Consequently, you won’t find the need to control others as you become at peace with yourself.
Abandon the habit of controlling others. It’s not a chemistry laboratory where you can control the environment. In peoples world the only thing you can control or master the art of controlling just yourself.
We have to check this. This controlling dependence is all through the world. I need my youngsters and relatives to act as per my necessities.
In this way, next time you’re feeling angry –just tell your mind ‘You are my best friend and only good/ positive thoughts will pour out from my mind.’ w In the event that it’s difficult to see anything besides the outrage, begin by investigating your musings, as those are what fuel all feelings. Remember that the move from an essential feeling like dread or bitterness into angry mode is regularly very quick and oblivious. Feeling angry might be an instilled propensity for you, which implies that it can require greater investment to recognize the more profound considerations and sentiments that lie underneath.
By working with the childhood anxieties, past crisis and other environmental factors you will be equipped enough to understand your trigger points. Identify those factors and be determined to make peace with your past. If you move on then you will be freed from the habit of going back into the past. That is great information for you to work with, as it includes tending to a more profound need to understand your emotions better.
By distinguishing the essential feeling, you would more be able to effectively decide the best strategy to determine your concern. For instance, you can make sense of whether another’s activities are genuinely unjustifiable or just a hit to your personality. Going to bat for treachery, such as shielding yourself or another from being exploited or hurt, is balanced. Be that as it may, arguing with someone over something unimportant is more about self-image. Putting consideration on the last is a misuse of vitality that could be spent all the more shrewdly.
WAYS TO THINK
Stop being so touchy
Don’t be so supersensitive to your identities of race, gender, nationality, language, social class etc
Let the past fade away
Learn to forgive as it will set you free because dwelling in the past you just hurt yourself
Just let it go
Have more empathy towards others
Imagine wearing someone else’s shoes for a day
WAYS TO DO
- Some simple Relaxation techniques you can try:
ü Breathe deeply, from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”
ü Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.
- Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.
- Nonstrenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.
- Using “Silly humour” can help defuse anger in a number of ways
- Keep a diary of your anger outbursts, to try and understand how and why you get mad.
- Consider assertiveness training, or learning about techniques of conflict resolution.
- See a counsellor or psychologist if you still feel angry about events that occurred in your past.
- Exercise regularly
Anger is excruciating and we have to get help. We quite often feel something unique first before we get irate: apprehensive, miserable, hurt, disregarded, frustrated, or liable. We utilize outrage to secure/conceal these other helpless emotions. We figure out how to deny and smother our sentiments, so we won’t be in passionate torment any longer. Be that as it may, when something occurs in the present, it helps us to remember incomplete business before and mixes it.
The objective of understanding anger is to diminish both your passionate emotions and the physiological excitement that outrage causes. You can’t dispose of, or maintain a strategic distance from, the things or the general population that rankle you, nor would you be able to transform them, yet you can figure out how to control your responses. Your reaction is just yours and your alone.
Anger depletes me with my power because my sense of power becomes dependent on others. If you don’t want to be triggered by any external agents as family, traffic, peers, politics or even weather just start watching your thoughts. The main change comes from your thoughts and feelings. If you are just watchful like a big brother to your thoughts nothing can instigate you. You can simply be the master of your emotional well being by having the remote control of your mind with yourself and don’t give that power to others. Hence there won’t face a situation where you can say that Oh you made me angry, it’s because of you …. Or other statements as, well I am angry cos of my wife, maid and blah blah….
Anger can surely be controlled and then wiped totally from your mind. But it needs practice with all your beings around. You can’t think that in an office I am allowed or at home or vice versa. It has to be an effort in all your spaces.
In summary, working with the underlying primary emotions is a way of decreasing habitual anger, cultivating more inner peace, and facilitating thoughtful action.
Just give a try. It’s worth it to improve the quality of your life.